Drunken Korean Grannies & Rat's Hind Parts

I was twenty years old when my mom and I took a trip to the motherland - Korea. Our sojourn through Korea started in Seoul where I got to a see the city's energy first hand. After a few days, my mom thought it would be a good idea for us to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. She suggested that we go to visit some of the more provincial areas like one of the touristy mountains resorts. I was looking forward to it because I was getting tired of looking at concrete and tiny shreds of vegetation throughout the city. I longed for the mountains and greenery.

My mom and I reserved seats on a bus going to our highly anticipated trip to the mountains. When I walked through the aisles, I realized that I was going through gauntlet of Korean grannies. They all looks so nice and matronly. The bus started up and lurched forward toward its destination. Suddenly, the matronly grannies started to pull out bottles of Soju and started to drink like frat boys during their initiation and hazing period. They forced the driver to turn on the karaoke machine and all heck broke loose. The grannies became the most drunken obnoxious people that I have ever encountered. They were stumbling over each other singing traditional Korean songs. This went on for 2 horrendous hours. I asked my mom, "what's wrong with these grannies." She basically told me that they are old and they don't give a rat's hind parts about what you think about them.

My internal reaction can only be described as a confused duality. On one hand, their obnoxiousness was so disruptive that I wanted to blow up the bus. On the other hand, I relished the freedom of not having to give a rat's hind parts about anything.

Recently, I was chatting with a dear friend who was making questionable life choices. I normally just make a few quick jabs at my friend and leave it at that. However, I felt like I just didn't give a rat's hind parts and laid into her. I gave a tongue lashing only an ornery James Carville can give. I realized that since I'm having my heart surgery that I found the freedom of the drunken Korean grannies. I honestly didn't care what she thought of me because I was going to let her know the truth.

So do I regret what i said? Not really, the content was right on target. Do I regret the way I said it? Yes, I wish I was a little more muted in my tone. However, I think it's good to allow yourself the ability to be like a drunk Korean granny once in a while because it is liberating and intoxicating. So, if I come to you with a drunken Korean granny tirade, please know that I don't give a rat's hind parts about what you think about me and I only do that to the people that I really care about and truly love.