Happy New Year

Hi folks,

I am happy to report we have come home (that is to Vancouver) for the holiday season. We have been housebound due to the snowy weather but we are enjoying our family time together with Dennis. We are preparing for a low key New Year's party at my place and hoping Dennis will enjoying ringing in the new year with us.

Wishing you all many blessings in the New Year!!!

e

hello

It's been a long time and I hope all is going well for everyone.

Dennis was released from hospital on November 29. He is recovering well at home ... although progress is very slow. He's still receiving therapy at home. He continues to have issues with water retention. Dr's have confirmed this will be an ongoing issue due to his right sided heart failure. We are exploring possible next steps.

We are hoping to take Dennis to Vancouver, BC for Christmas. We will find out in the next couple of days if he will be released from therapy to come for 2 weeks. As we prepare to spend this holiday with Dennis, we are grateful for the blessings the Lord has given us this year. It has been a difficult year but we have been overwhelmed by God's mercy and grace upon our family. We are thankful for our friends and family who has support and prayed for us this past year.

Our family wishes you all a very Merry Christmas. May the peace of the Lord bless you and your household.

e

update - back in hospital

Hi folks,

Sorry it's been a while but thing have been pretty hectic lately ... I guess that's how it is with 5 kids and a sick brother. Anyhow, the past few weeks have been pretty uneventful for Dennis. He has been having extensive rehab at home and came up for a few days to Vancouver for a visit. He's still having a lot of difficulty sleeping and is being follow by the sleep disorder clinic. If he's not rehabing, he's seeing Dr's. Dr's visits take up a lot of our time and he is currently seeing 8 specialists. A day of appointments go from morning till evening. As you can image, it's pretty tiring on those days. Otherwise, he is been getting stronger.

Unfortunately the pattern of rehabilitiating has taken a turn this week. We have been to the hospital everyday for the past 4 days. He was in ER 4 days ago due to a possible blood clot in his leg. He was scanned and there is no new clots - Yeah! But they noticed decrease in his kidney function and fluid overload again. So, after going to the hospital every day for tests, he was admitted yesterday. He's back at UW. I'm not sure how long he will be there but I will let you know.

e

settling in

Hi folks,

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post. I actually thought I had made a post last week but I just noticed I didn't.

Dennis is settling in well at home. He is having close to 30 hours of therapy at week from home and has made his first few visits outside of the home. He is being carefully monitored between 8 different teams of specialists. It will be some time before he will be functioning at full capacity.

e

At home

I can't believe Dennis is finally home. It all seems so surreal. He arrived home this evening and has already had a visit from the nurse. He will be starting all of his in-home rehab programs tomorrow. I guess no break from therapy.

My mom's anxiety level has really gone up today and she is feeling pretty stressed being his sole caregiver at home. She feels extremely responsible for any failures Dennis may have in the days to come. She is also trying to remember all of the things they have trained her to do at home from diet to medications to injections to utilizing and setting up his breathing and ambulation equipment. Please pray for her as she develops a routine and gains confidence in her ability to take care of Dennis.

Dennis is also out of sorts. He has become accustomed to hospital life and although he's been begging to come home, now that he is, he is finding challenges in his living environment. From his couch seat being to low for him to get up and his bathroom being too small to move around in with his walker, he is having to learn to re-adjust what he has learned to do in the hospital. Please pray for Dennis as he learns a new way of living.

Dennis can be called at home but he does not currently have access to his cell phone or computer. I have put these away in safe keeping.

As for the blog ... yes, I will keep the blog updated with his progress. I anticipate it will be a very long journey of recovery.

e

going home - help!

Hi folks,

I received a call this evening that Dennis is going to be discharged home tomorrow! Yippee!!! Dennis is very excited.

Unfortunately this has put us into a little tail spin. I am currently in Victoria, BC completing my residency for my master's program. My time in residency will be done on Friday but until then Dennis and my mom are on their own. Dennis and my mom are needing a ride home tomorrow afternoon. Is there anyone available to help? He has a fold able walker and wheelchair plus a load of stuff that they have acquired over the past 3.5 months. Dennis' home also has no groceries. He is on a very strict diet that my mom will need to shop for. Dennis is under 24 hour supervision, therefore, I'm wondering if someone can sit with Dennis while my mom walks to Safeway. Please email me at eunicecho@shaw.ca if you are able to provide any assistance.

Thanks very much!!
e

slow and steady

Hi folks,

Dennis is progressing. He's got another 6kg of water loss to go before he gets to go home. They anticipate it may be later this week. He's been on a long journey to get to this point but we are happy with Dennis progress and are looking forward to taking him home (to Renton).

e

not too much change

Hi folks,

I just realized I forgot to write on Sunday. Sorry about that. Here's a little back track.

Dennis' was drained of 4 liters of fluid from his belly last week. He did find some relief and has felt better over the past few days. The 4 liters didn't make much of a dent in his overall fluid retention, therefore, he has had further consultation with specialists on whether or not to remove more fluid. For now, they will wait and see over the next couple of days. He is still on heavy doses of medications to pull off more fluid. It is working slowly.

There chat about him coming home soon but still more wait and see.

e

the big syringe

hi folks,

it's been a busy few days fussing over dennis. he's still fluid overloaded and the team of cardiologists are working hard to balance him out. he's exhausted and having difficulty breathing due to enlarged belly. he's also got a bad case of the cankles. after lots of consultation with the medical staff, dennis will undergo a procedure today to draw out the fluid from his belly. they will insert a large syringe and pull out as much fluid as possible. they got 4 large canisters ready to fill up. hopefully this will help him to breath easier and get some rest. he has his first full night of sleep in a week and he's more rested to go for his procedure today. looks like he will be on the cardiology unit for a couple of weeks.

e

moving again

Hi folks,

Dennis continues to have difficulty with water retention, therefore, the rehab staff are unable to provide him with the necessary care. He will be moving down to the cardiology unit this evening. Please continue to pray for Dennis as he overcomes this next hurdle.

e

no progress - still water logged

Hi folks,

Water retention continues to be an issue for Dennis. He is currently on 2 IV and 1 oral diuretics with minimal effect. He is having more and more physical discomfort and continues to physically regress. He is also have difficulty sleeping, making his progress even more difficult.

e

water logged

Hi folks,

Sorry for the late entry. It was a busy day with Dennis yesterday.

Dennis is retaining fluid in his abdomen and legs. His weight and girth has greatly increased over the past couple of days. His heart seems to be the underlying issue to his water retention. He is tired and having difficulty breathing which has hampered his therapy progress. He will not be discharged today. They have re-slated him for discharge next week.

Dennis will not be coming to Canada on discharge. He will require extensive in-home therapy and will be staying in Renton with our mom.

e

day off

Hi folks,

Today was Dennis' day off from therapy. He spend the day with his friends from Vancouver, watching them play X-Box. He's ready for his big week and counting down the days to going home.

e

slated for discharge

hi folks,

Dennis' strength continues to increase and he is slated for discharge on Thursday, Oct. 2, 2008 - pending he meets his discharge goals. Dennis continues to work really hard but has many physical and cognitive limitations. He will continue with therapy at home until his is ready for outpatient therapy. It will be a long journey to recovery.

e

Sunday update

Hi folks,

Dennis is getting stronger each day and continues with his physical progress. He is managing a few steps without his walker. He is still have some edema in his legs but they are getting less swollen and less painful.

Dennis continues to have issues with his short term memory. He is frustrated with being in the hospital and would like to return home. He does not remember the recent past and is confused as to the reasons behind his current hospital stay. It will be some time before we see him plateau in his condition - mentally and physically - in the meantime, we are working hard to get him there with lots and lots of encouragement.

e

getting more exercises

Hi folks,

Dennis is getting stronger each day and is tolerating more and more exercises. His therapists have increased his gym time by another hour (he was already in there for 2 hours per day). He is working hard and knows the harder he works the better chance of getting out of the hospital.

He has been loosing fluid again (yeah!) and is feeling much better.

Preparation are in the works for his arrival home. From grab bars to wheelchairs to new shoes, the therapists are looking at all of his needs. It will be a little time yet before he gets to go home but it's never too early to start planning.

I will be decreasing the #'s of times I post on the blog to twice a week. I will provide updates every Wednesdays and Sundays - likely in the evening.

e

retaining water

Dennis was back to exercising on Tuesday after a full day and night of sleep.

Dennis is retaining a lot of water. The rehab unit has consulted the cardiac and medical staff to help them to determine the next steps. They are uncertain if his water retention is related to his heart or whether it is due to his kidneys. In any case, they are actively working towards removing the water so that it he does not go into respiratory distress.

Dennis says he's tired of being in the hospital and would like to go home. Although he is not ready, he continues to ask. Hopefully in a few weeks.

e

beyond exhausted

Hi folks,

After being awake for 5 days straight, Dennis is beyond exhausted. He is skipping out on all his therapy and sleeping this morning.

He's had a rough weekend. He is currently retaining lots of water and his kidney functional status has been borderline, therefore, they have been unable to remove water from his body. He started to have heart palpitation yesterday. His oxygen stats are slightly down, therefore, he has been put back on oxygen. We are watching him closely to ensure he does not go into respiratory distress again. He seems a bit better today but his having difficulty staying awake. Rest is in order for the day and he will be catching on some needed sleep.

e

update

Dennis has not been sleeping well for the past few days. He has been on some heavy medications for the pain in his lower back and butt from his fall. Needless to say this is making him very confused. He also has general swelling in his body, therefore, the staff are working towards decreasing his body fluid.

Otherwise Dennis is doing well. He is working hard on his exercises and even though he is in pain, they keep him going.

e

fall

Dennis had a fall last night while getting up to go to the bathroom. Nothing broken but he is pretty bruised and having lots of pain. He's on some heavy painkillers. He now has a bed alarm system and each time he tries to get up, the alarms go off. His rehab has taken a little turn due to his accident but he should be up and running again soon (not literally).

e

Dennis is not online

Dennis had a poor night of sleep so, he was a bit more confused today than he has been over the past couple of days. Otherwise, he had a full day of therapy.

Just in case you are wondering ... it often appears that Dennis is online on MSN. My mom and I are utilizing his phone, therefore, when we have it on, we have noticed that his MSN signs in. Sorry for any of the confusion, but please do not write to him as he is not getting the messages.

Thanks, e

working out at the gym

Well today was Dennis first day of full therapy and it was busy. He went from 1 activity to another and even walked to the gym to do his exercises. Although his body is still weak, he is regaining strength each day. His memory is also getting better and he is starting to recall events of recent past.

e

no rest for the weary

Hi folks,

Dennis was surprised at his rehab schedule yesterday and commented to the Dr. about when he would get any rest up here. He will be in therapy from 8-4pm each day except Sundays with a short lunch break in between. If you are wanting to visit, please come Monday to Saturday after 4pm and anytime on Sundays.

e

Rehab

Hi folks,

We have arrived on the in-patient rehab unit at the University Medical Center. He is on the 8th floor of the Pacific Elevators. I will post his visiting hours once if find out from his nurses.

e

struck with Gout

Hi folks,

Sorry it's been a couple of days but nothing really interesting has been happening with Dennis. A couple of days ago, he was able to walk out of his room to take a look around. He walked about 20 feet and returned to his room. Since then he has been struck with gout. The pain has been intense and he has not been able to walk since. His ankles and knees are feeling a bit better today.

The plan is for him to move to the rehab center on Monday. He will be doing 7 hours of therapy daily to get him really going - physically and mentally. They anticipate he will be there for 4-6 weeks. He will be allowed visitors on the unit but it will be limited to evenings and weekends. Once I find out his detailed therapy schedule, I will post what times will be best for visits.

e

Open for visitors

Hi folks,

Dennis is doing well and is in good spirits. He may move up to the 8th floor sometime next week to get started on his rehabilitation. His short term memory is still poor but with some cognitive rehab this should improve.

He is open for visitors. He is currently on the 5th floor of the Cascade Elevators. Make a left once you exit the elevators and ask the staff at the nursing desk the directions to his room. My mom is living with Dennis in his room. Her name is Kathy. Please remember that his short term memory is poor, therefore, you may need to remind him of your name and where you know him from. He may seem a little confused or mix up his words or appear to be thinking about what he is trying to say. You will need to be patient with him as he tries to express himself.

I am traveling back and forth from Vancouver, BC now so, I may or may not be at the hospital during your visits. I hope I get a chance to meet you all but if I don't, have a great visit with Dennis and my mom.

e

taking his first few steps

Dennis was up and taking a few steps with a walker today. Painfully slow but made it to the washroom (sorry ... restroom). He's taken his first shower in 7 weeks so, he's feeling clean and smelling better! He was seen by the rehab center Dr. on the 8th floor and it looks like he will start some extensive rehab in a couple of weeks.

e

exercising

Hi folks,

Dennis is on the ward, actively exercising to get himself on his feet again.

He has had a throat scope done today to see if this is causing his breathing issues ... nothing discovered - I guess that's nothing new.

e

on the move again

Dennis is doing well today and feeling stronger. He is eating and sleeping well. He's on the move to the ward this evening.

e

5th time lucky?

Well Dennis is stable once again. He is doing well on his own again. He will remain in ICU today and will moved to the unit again tomorrow. Perhaps 5th time lucky?

John O - thanks for the hockey update. Gives me something to talk about with him.

e

doing well again?

Dennis was extubated this afternoon and is doing well - as we know only Dennis can do. He let everyone know he was hungry. He stated he hasn't eaten in 2 days and needed some food - which indeed was true. He had a hearty dinner of fish, mashed potatoes, broccoli, yogurt and a fruit plate. I don't know what more to say but to let you know he is doing well again.

e

God is in Control

Dennis is awake and alert this morning. He is currently undergoing a breathing trial to see if can be extubated sometime today. He is able to communicate with us by writing - which is a first in 6.5 weeks. He is wondering about the Canucks and Matt Cooke. Also wondering where his friends will stay when they come to visit him. He seems less confused than he been in weeks. He's not fighting the breathing tube anymore so, he's unrestrained watching TV and flipping channels on his own.

I meet with the Dr. V. this am and he is uncertain of Den's underlying issues with his GI bleed and his breathing. We are trying to figure out if they are related to each other. It appears that each time he has a bleed, he needs a transfusion, which is possibly causing fluid overload. In turn this may be affecting the functioning of his heart and lungs causing the frequent need for intubation. Unfortunately, each time they investigate the GI bleed, they cannot find the source. His lungs are looking the best they have in over a month, therefore, he should not be having these breathing issues. It does not seem neuological in nature.

So it's just one big wonder ... God what's going on? Perhaps we will never truly know. But we rely on the comfort of knowing that God is in control. Hallelujah for all you have already done.

e

Atypical

Today has been another day of waiting. He has had a red blood cell tag and 2 scopes done to detect his GI bleed with no confirmed results except that they cannot locate his bleed. He is currently going for another red blood cell tag to see if he has any delayed responses to the first red blood cell tag. He has had a general surgical consult but without finding a site to surgically repair, it's all for nothing.

His breathing is more of a concern than his GI bleed at this point. The staff are perplexed as to why he gets into these poor breathing patterns. They are considering if it is neurological in nature and whether he has had brain stem damage due to his cardiac arrest. They are considering a tracheotomy to assist him when he gets into respiratory distress. We are having discussions with our family as to whether this is an option we should consider.

e

Another set back

Hi folks,

Dennis started having another GI bleed this morning and was rapidly moved back to the ICU. When I arrived back at the hospital this evening, Dennis was in respiratory distress. As the evening progressed, he became more ill. He's breathing increased to 45-50 respirations per minute, heart beat of 125bpm and had a blood pressure of 225/137. Needless to say, he needed immediate intervention and the medical staff felt he needed to be intubated again. He is currently heavily sedated and undergoing a number of tests and procedures.

Dennis is not receiving visitors at the present time.

e

Den's rolling

Hi folks,

Dennis has moved back to the ward last evening and is holding up well. He's just starting to get his strength back. This morning, he started rolling back and forth on his own in bed - the little things we take for granted.

e

on the move again

Hi folks,

Dennis had a good visit from a couple of old friends today and many more coming this weekend. He has been up in a chair twice today and has tolerated this well. They will be moving him on to the ward again once a bed becomes available.

His CT scan of the head showed no abnormalities. They feel his memory loss is related the the trauma and stress he has undergone over the last 6 weeks. As further healing occurs with some brain retraining/rehab all should come back to normal. Yippee!!

As for his legs ... He is experiencing pain and limited strength in both legs now but continues to have less functioning in the right leg. PT and OT are working with him extensively to get his mobility back. He has some nerve damage to the right leg. With time and lots of rehab, this should all come back to normal too.

And as for his left arm ... yes, time and rehab should do the trick.

Prognosis is positive - no longer just 'wait and see' - it's time to exercise and rehabilitate.

e

address

Hi folks,

Dennis had a good night. He's retaining water again and they are trying to pull off as much fluid as possible. Other than that he is still doing about the same.

Well, it seems that Dennis likes to move between the ICU and the ward. He has also move to several different rooms in the ICU depending on the types of equipment he needs so, if you are planning on sending him mail, please forward as follows:

University of Washington Medical Center
5 Northeast or 5 Southeast
Patient: Dennis Pak
1959 NE Pacific Street
Box 356087
Seattle, WA 98195-6087

e

doing good

Dennis is holding his own and doing well. He remains in ICU under close observation. He is undergoing neurological testing for this breathing pattern and memory. Although sleepy, he is sitting up in bed and has a great appetite.

e

back in the ICU

Hi folks,

Dennis had an episode this morning after having a great visit with his boss. He started to cheyne-stoke breath and became unresponsive. His oxygen level dropped to 76 and the medical staff went into overdrive to help him without using any heroic measures. He was transfered to ICU again for further monitoring. He's now sitting up in bed, chatting and laughing with the nurses. It appears that he is having another GI bleed. Further investigation will occur over the next couple of days.

e

holding his own

Hi folks,

Dennis is doing well. Still having difficulty breathing but holding his own. He has been very tired today, therefore, unable to get up in a chair. The medical staff are keeping a watchful eye on him.

e

Walking down the road of recovery

Hi folks,

Dennis has had another good day. He has been moved out of the ICU and on to the cardiac ward. He's still short of breath and having difficulty communicating but seems to be going down the road of recovery.

Dennis is having difficulty recollecting his past and remains confused. This is coupled with difficulty expressing himself. The medical staff feel that as he continues to strengthen and recover, his memory and communication skills will come back. We have decided to stage his visitations to help him with his memory while having positive experiences during these visits.

During this weekend, we invite friends who have know him for greater than 15 years or those that have had significant impact on his life. If you fall into either category and would like to visit, please email me at eunicecho@shaw.ca and let me know what date and time you will come. Visitation will be limited to 2 persons at any given time, between 10am to 1pm and again from 3pm to 7pm. I will also be starting up a photo board, therefore, please bring a photo of yourself.

As for others, I will let you know as soon as we open up visitation, but in the meantime, please send Dennis a card with your photo to:
University of Washington Medical Center
5 Northeast
Patient: Dennis Pak, room #5202
1959 NE Pacific Street
Box 356087
Seattle, WA 98195-6087

Thanks for your understanding. I look forward to meeting you all over the coming days. We are feeling positive that he indeed is walking down the road of recovery.

e

so far ... doing well

Hi folks,

Dennis was extubated yesterday at 3pm and so far he is holding his own. He is up in a chair today eating breakfast. His breathing is a bit labored. We are encouraging him to cough lots to get rid of his secretions. He is trying to communicate with us but we are having difficulty understanding him to due to his voice.

I am trying to working out visits with Dennis over the next few days. I will need to make these arrangements first. Once he is allowed visitors outside of family members, I will let you know. Likely starting sometime over the weekend.

Thanks, e

In God's hands

Dear friends and family,

It has been an extremely long 5 week journey with Dennis. As difficult as it has been on us, we cannot even grasp the pain and suffering that Dennis has gone through over these past 5 weeks but furthermore, a lifetime of living with a broken heart.

The frequent set backs and intubation's has taken a toll on Dennis' body making recovery more and more difficult each day. Not knowing the lasting effects of these ailments makes it difficult to know the quality of Dennis' future life. Dennis' life has not been in vain. He has touched many lives with his humor, his strength, his friendship and his love. And even through pain, there has been much joy.

He has often puzzled the medical staff with his frequent set backs. He has undergone many tests and procedures with no true diagnosis. It has been frustrating for us all including Dennis. We no longer want to prolong his suffering and have asked the medical staff to extubate him. We leave Dennis' life in the hands of God. As our Lord and our Saviour, we trust in the work of His hands. May His will be done with Dennis - whether in life or in death.

e

bleeding

Hi folks,

They have scoped Dennis this morning and have located the site of the bleed - right lower lobe. The team is consulting on the next steps. We anticipate they will take him back to IR to coil/tie the bleed off. He will remain intubated for now.

e

WHY???

Since Dennis was doing well, I decided to go home for a quick visit with my family over the weekend. My mom stayed with Dennis in the hospital and reported he was doing well - alert, sitting up for prolonged periods and eating well.

Late last evening, Dennis started to cough excessively. He coughed up large amounts of blood, blood clots and tissue. They scoped him and discovered that he is bleeding from the right lung. He was re-intubated to maintain his airway. He is currently heavily sedated and receiving units of blood to replenish him. He will also be scoped again this evening to check the status of his lungs.

It's difficult to understand why this is happening but we continue to rest in the provision of God and His grace.

e

Another good day and getting stronger

Hi folks,

Den had another great day. He was up in a chair for 5 hours and although tired, managed well. He was able to stand on his feet today but was not able to move them. It is still very difficult to understand what Dennis is saying but with each day, he is getting stronger. He is to rest his voice but work on his exercises, so the nurses and therapist are constantly on him. He is under close observation and will remain in the ICU for a few more days.

We are not accepting visitors yet but as soon as we do, we will let you know. For now, it's all about therapy and rest.

e

A couple of pics.

Here's Dennis with his niece, Adaya who has been patiently waiting for him to recover in the family waiting room. She's managed to sneak in to have quick visit with her uncle.













This morning Dennis was up in his Cadillac chair getting ready for his first shave in 1 month. He's in great spirits.

He speaks!

Dennis is doing well and in great spirits. He has been talking but we are having difficulty understanding him due to the loss of his voice. We are able to make out bits of his words but it has been challenging. It will be some time before he can have a full conversation.

Dennis has been very restless during the night and having difficulty sleeping. The nurse gave him some medications and caused his restlessness to increase. He had difficulty breathing and scared the staff last night but all is well this morning. They are continuing to keep a watchful eye on him and will remain in the ICU until they are certain he will succeed on the ward.

His kidneys are working well and he has not had dialysis in 2 days. They will continue to monitor his kidney function to ensure it's return to normal. He's got lots of work to do to get his mobility back so, tomorrow the sneakers will be on to get him on his feet.

We have had some wonderful visits with him over the past 24 hours. I will post some pictures this evening.

e

Making Progress

Hi folks,

Dennis was extubated yesterday. He's been giving big smiles! He's trying to talk but his throat is too sore ... although his mouth is moving, we can not make out any words. With time and healing, we should hear him chattering away soon. He's been eating lots of ice chips and jello.

As for his neurological status ... he appears very appropriate but the telling sign will be when starts to talk. He is able to move his limbs on command and gives thumbs up when all is good. He's been rooting on American Olympic athletes and raising his hand when they win. I wonder what he will do when he sees the Canadians win.

He has had no further bleeding episodes and in viewing his digestive tract with a camera, it appears he had a bleeding ulcer in his small intestine. It was difficult for them to detect since it was already healed.

Dennis has lots of work to do over the next few weeks. His muscles have gotten very weak. He is still having problems with his right leg and it appears that he may have some nerve damage.


e

update

Sorry it's been a couple of days since I've written but yesterday was a difficult day and I found it hard to write anything positive so, I didn't write at all.

Dennis started to have a major bleed yesterday and with all the tests and waiting, it was just about getting the best of us. Although they preformed many tests, they were unable to locate the site of the bleed. He was promised with extubation yesterday and he was disappointed when they decided not to. It was a very emotional day for Dennis and we just held him as he cried. All we could do was cry with him. He also frequently displayed his displeasure in having his breathing tube in. Dennis is very alert and when he wasn't getting poked and prodded, he was watching the Olympics. I think it's the only thing that is keeping him sane.

Well, today is a new day and as we speak, they are scoping him to locate the bleed. There's still a possibility that he may need abdominal surgery. We should find out later today. They have promised him extubation again after this procedure so, we will see if it actually becomes a reality.

e

GI bleed

Hi folks,

Yesterday was an exhausting day off waiting as they tried to localize Dennis' GI bleed. They informed us that he may need to have an abdominal surgery for a bowel resection. In the morning, they preformed a scope of the esophagus, stomach and upper GI tract and found no active bleeding. In the evening, they completed an angio of the lower GI tract and found no active bleeding. It's all a mystery. Has healing already occurred?? After 3 massive blow out of blood, he has had no further episodes. He had 6 units of blood yesterday and he is now holding his own.

Today, he will undergo another procedure through nuclear med to see if they can localize his GI bleed ... I get a feeling they won't find anything. God is good.

Otherwise, they will give him dialysis and do another breathing trial. Please pray for his breathing as he continues to have difficulty breathing on his own. This is the next major step in his recovery.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and support.

e

re-intubation

Hi folks,

Dennis is getting re-intubation this morning. He is having some type of upper GI bleed and with his declined respiratory status, they feel he needs to be intubated for the scope procedure. We are devastated with this set back and ask that you pray that we make the right decisions regarding his care.

e

breathing difficulties

Hi folks,

Dennis has been struggling over the past 24 hours with his breathing again. He is short of breath and breathing rapidly. He is on bi-pap to help him with his breathing. His heart rate has increased and he has had 1 episode of ventricular tachycardia. He was put back on a couple of his heart medications to help bring his heart rate down. He did not tolerate dialysis as well yesterday and they will try again today.

e

He says "hi"

Dennis was extubated yesterday at 3:30pm and although alert, he was unable to talk. He was not following any commands but looking around and smiling. He grew more restless as the night went on so a good dose of sleep was in the works. The medical staff put some big white boxing gloves (restraints) on to prevent him from hurting himself.

This morning the nurse greet us with excitement. I rushed in and Dennis said "hi." When I asked him how he was doing, he said "tired." Words are still hard to come by as the intubations have taken its toll on Den's voice. He is also congested, therefore, breathing and talking at the same time requires a lot of energy. The next few days will be filled with lots of deep breathing, coughing, exercising his limbs, sitting up and getting rest.

e

He smiles!

It's hard for me to express how I am feeling this morning. I was standing by his door and he waved to me. I couldn't get my gown on fast enough to get right beside him and when I did, he smiled. It was incredible!!

Dennis will be getting his breathing tube out today. He is breathing well on his own. He is also get a more "permanent" kidney dialysis line inserted in his clavicle. He will have the one in his groin removed so that he can start moving his legs. His kidneys are starting to wake up but it may take some time before they are functioning well ... until then he will get dialysis. He's not running anymore infections so he should be off isolation today.

Praise God!

e

getting better everyday

Yesterday evening, Dennis' blood pressure dropped dangerously low. The medical staff worked quickly to get him restabilized. Due to this turn of events, they were unable to do his neurological assessment or breathing test.

They have turned off his sedation and he is awake this morning. He is following some commands but not following others. It will be a few days yet before we can get an accurate picture of how he is doing neurologically. He is still intubated but they have turned off the ventilator and he is breathing on his own. They will continue to turn his ventilator on and off throughout the day to strength his lungs before extubating him.

He will have another 5 hour kidney dialysis run today with the hopes of pulling off another 2kg. As I indicated previously, Dennis is "skinny" and has lost 25kg (55lbs) over the last 5 days ... I wish I could lose weight this quickly too!

e

positive feelings

I'm feeling good about today! It's beautiful out and I believe that God will give us the desires of our hearts. God is good.

Plan for today: Dennis is starting a 7 hour run of kidney dialysis this morning at 9am. Once this is completed, the medical staff will lighten his sedation and wake him up. They will do a neurological exam to see if he has lost any of his marbles. They will also do a breathing trial this evening to see if his lungs are strong enough to manage on their own. And if so, they will extubate him.

I'll keep you posted.

e

progressing

Hello,

Dennis continues to progress well on dialysis. They have taken a large amount of fluid off him and my mom describes him as "skinny" ... of course only skinny as skinny can be for Dennis. The nurses have weaned him off 2 of his blood pressure medications and his ventilator medication. He has tolerated this well. They are continuing with his dialysis and will try and wean him from another 1 of his blood pressure medications. He remains heavily sedated and continues on all of his heart medications.

e

a little glimmer of hope

Hi folks,

We have been 24 hours free of any shocking or pacing!! He is still having a couple of irregular beats but he is not having runs in which he needs assistance to get out of. He is getting a little more stable.

The medical staff are treating him aggressively to bring him through this crisis and they have now moved to 24 hour dialysis for 3 days to pull of as much fluid from his heart. He is tolerating this well so far.

Thank you so much for all your prayers. Our family feels your presence and your support with us as we all anxiously wait for a positive outcome.

e

no progress

Dennis is continuing to have problems with the right side of his heart. He was shocked by his defib another 3 times during the night. Although he is not getting worse, he is not making any progress. He's liver is now failing.

We are still hopeful that he will come through this but we are starting to have some very difficult conversations with the medical staff. We are seeking God's guidance through this process.

We ask, only if you are able, to fast and pray over the next 12 hours.

Thank you,

e

Prayers for Dennis

Dennis is still struggling and the medical staff are trying to determine what course of action they need to take. They are clear that what they are doing currently is not working for him. They have now put a crash cart permanently in his room.

Dennis appears to be uncomfortable and struggling. Please pray for peace and comfort to cover over him and for the Holy Spirit to dwell within him.

e

irregular heart beats

Dennis has been having irregular heart beats all day, keeping the staff hopping on the unit. His pacemaker has been kicking in regularly. This evening his heart started to act up even more and he has had to be shocked twice with the paddles. He is very unstable and the medical staff continue to work to keep him going. They are trying to do a 12 hour dialysis run to remove more fluid from his heart but they are struggling as he continues to have irregular heart beats.

I will update things as they progress.

PS. I have had a few requests for visits with Dennis during this difficult time. Unfortunately Dennis is not stable enough to have any visitors. He has even started having difficulties with family members being in the room, therefore, all visitation is being limited. Sorry.

e

wait and see

Hi folks,

Dennis was able to tolerate 6 hours of kidney dialysis during the night without incident. Kidney dialysis causes blood pressure to drop and they were concerned that his heart would not be able to tolerate the treatment. But he faired well through the treatment and they managed to remove 1.5 liters of fluid. This is just a start and he will need to have many more kidney dialysis treatments to decrease his fluid load on his heart. He will have a treatment every evening.

He has had many episodes of arrhythmia this morning and his pacemaker continues to kick in. He has not had to be shocked yet but he has been close a couple of times. Dr. Verrier states he is still struggling and is very sick. His recovery will require patiences. He recommended that we pray.

Although Dennis is more stable than he has been over the past 2 days, he is not out of the woods yet. They have been "playing" with his medications but it appears he is not tolerating any decreases. It will be another day of "wait and see".

e

a difficult day

Hi folks,

I am so sorry for not writing earlier than this evening. I left my laptop at home and I was unable to access internet till now.

Unfortunately, when we arrived at the hospital this morning, Dennis had another cardiac arrest. They were able to revive him again with CPR but his heart was not doing well. In the early afternoon, his heart started to act up again and his defib kicked in. He was shocked back 3 times during the afternoon. His pacemaker was regularly firing as he continued to have irregular heart beats until 4pm. He was put on several more medication for his blood pressure and heart. He is still with us but very sick.

This evening he was started on kidney dialysis to help him to decrease the fluid load on his heart. They are hoping that this will help his heart to function better. He has also been started on 4 new antibiotics.

It is early to say what the next few days will bring, but the medical staff are very hopeful. We too are clinging to the hope that God still has work to do with him on earth. It has been an extremely difficult 48 hours for our family as we have witnessed him arresting before our eyes. Please continue to pray.

Thanks, e

it's not a pulmonary embolism

Dennis has undergone some further testing and it appears that he did not have a pulmonary embolism. His chest x-ray is abnormal and they are wondering whether pneumonia was the cause of his respiratory arrest which lead to his cardiac arrest. He is very slowly starting to awake but they are uncertain if he has any neurological damage. His kidneys are failing and he has produced minimal urine since yesterday evening. The health care team are baffled and state they may never truly find the reason behind his arrest. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We leave Dennis in God's gracious hands.

e

update - nothing new

Hi folks,

We have no new news on Dennis. He remains unresponsive. His heart and lungs remain weak. His kidney are no longer functioning and the kidney Dr. will be coming soon to assess him.

e

Please Pray

Dear Friends and Family,

I am sorry to inform you that Den took a turn for the worse late last evening and had multiple cardiac arrests. He was revived and he is currently in ICU. He has been intubated again and is being supported on a ventilator. They are uncertain of the reason for his heart attacks but they believe it may be due to a pulmonary embolism. His heart and lungs are extremely weak and his kidneys are failing. There may also be some neurological damage. The Dr's continue to try and stabilize him but inform us that he is in grave condition.

Please pray for Dennis.

Thank you,
e

Addition: I have lost 2 comments for this post - one from anonymous and a second from princess3 (Dawn). Sorry, please resubmit. Thanks.

Set Back

Dennis was moved to the cardiac unit yesterday afternoon but returned to the ICU 6 hours later. He started to atrial fib. and had problems with his oxygenation. He was having difficulty breathing and needed more assistance than the ward could offer. Although he is breathing easier now, he is being supported through a bi-pap machine. His oxygen stats are better and he continues to work on his deep breathing and coughing. His chest infection continues and he remains on isolation.

He is having further difficulties with his right leg and he is loosing sensation in his right foot. He is unable to walk. Many physician's are involved in trying to diagnosis the issues with his right leg.

2 steps forward 1 step back.

e

Getting up

It's been a couple of hard days of work for Dennis. Progress has been slow and steady. He is much more alert today and feeling better. They have been trying to get him up and into a chair but he is unable to walk due to an issue with his right ankle. We thought it was gout but it's not, so some further investigation is needed. He's left arm is also very weak but is slowly improving with physical therapy. He is on isolation due to his infections and will have some further testing done.

e

He looks like a million bucks!

Dennis has turned the corner over night and is doing well. He finally passed his breathing test this morning and has been extubated. Yippee!! Although weak and still fighting his infections, he is in good spirits and eating ice chips. He will remain on ICU until he is off of some of his medications. He is still not accepting visitors but I will let you know as soon as he is.

e

it's been a long tiring day

Hi folks,

It's been a very long and tiring day for Dennis. He failed his breathing trial again this morning. He is only breathing for about 20 mins on his own. They will continue with the breathing trials 2-3 times per day until he is strong enough to breath on his own. He is fighting a few infections at the present time which is hindering his progress. It's will be a slow recovery.

e

pneumonia

Hi folks,

Den has been struck with pneumonia. He is feeling uncomfortable and recovery is very slow. They are suctioning him often and he is still running a high fever.

e

breathing trials

Dennis is still about the same. He has gone through 2 breathing trials. Last evening he was only able to breath for 2 mins on his own before he needed to be put back on the vent. This morning, he lasted 20 mins. Slowly he is progressing. They will let him rest again today and try again tomorrow. Hopefully with each day he will get stronger.

His fever continues and they have started him on 2 antibiotics for an infection.

e

extubate?

Hi folks,

Dennis is currently fighting some type of infection. They are awaiting culture results ... hopefully to come in tomorrow. In the meantime, he is still running a high fever. They are continuing to decrease his medications and hope to do some spontaneous breathing trials this evening. If he does well, they will extubate him.

e

up and down

Dennis has been having difficulties keeping his blood volume up, therefore, he continues to receive blood transfusions. His blood pressure is also fluctuating and he is running a high fever. He will not be getting extubated today. He is on isolation precautions and appears to be fighting an infection. Please continue to pray for healing.

e

nothing new

Hi folks,

Sorry it's taken me so long to write an update on the blog today.

There has been no change to Dennis condition overnight. He will be keep well sedated today as they "play" with his medications. He will remain intubated today with the hopes that it will come out tomorrow.

e

doing well

Dennis has returned from the OR and they have closed his chest. The resident stated he tolerated the surgery very well and they are very pleased. Now onto the recovery! Yippee!

He will remain in the ICU for a couple more days and hopefully extubated in 1-2 days.

e

waiting again

Dennis has just returned to the OR. We should hear back from Dr. V. in the next 3-4 hours.

e

back to the OR

Hi folks,

We are currently waiting for an OR to open up so that Dennis can get his chest closed. He is holding up well. Please pray for another successful surgery.

Thanks, e

chest cleansing

Dennis remains in stable condition. He had a chest cleansing this afternoon which he tolerated well. He is heavily sedated and will remain so, until they close his chest. They will determine tomorrow morning at 6:30am whether or not he is "well" enough to undergo this surgery. If not it, will be on Friday.

Dennis is not currently accepting visitors but I will let you know once he is ready to do so.

e

Progressing Well

Dennis has stablized and is doing well. His bleeding has subsided with lots of helps from some good drugs. He was awake for a brief moment for the nurses to check his responsiveness. He is able to move all of his extremities as commanded. Praise God!

They will spend the day keeping him quiet, comfortable and resting while reducing his fluid load. He is very edematous and in order for them to close his chest, they will need to decrease his fluid and reduce his swelling. We are hopeful that he will return to the OR sometime tomorrow (this evening at the earliest).

During this second surgery, they will change his defib pack, wrap his heart with a membrane and close his chest.

As for us, we are tired but doing well. We are extremely grateful for all the prayers and support we have been receiving during this difficult time. Thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. We have felt a greater peace as we have walked through this journey with Dennis.

e

update

Hi folks,

Dennis is currently in the ICU and is being well taken care of by the staff on the unit. He is in critical condition as his bleeding continues. The next 24 hours will be crucial for him. He remains asleep and they hope to keep him stablized through the night. I will provide another update in the morning.

Thanks for all your prayers.

e

Operation complete

Hi folks,

We have just heard from the Dr. and his surgery has been successful. Unfortunately, Dennis is bleeding excessively. He remains in the OR as they try and control his bleeding. Dr. states the next 2 hours will be crucial to determine if he will need to go back into the OR. He will be going up to the ICU with an open chest with the anticipation that he will return to the OR on Thursday to close his chest. Please pray that his bleeding will stop.

Thanks, e

The waiting has begun

Hi folks,

Our morning began at 4am and although Dennis didn't sleep well, he woke up in good spirits. We arrived at the hospital at 5:15am for pre-op. We haven't heard otherwise, so we are assuming he is currently in the OR. I will keep you updated as we find out any further information.

e

Final Countdown

Tomorrow is the big day. I need to be at the University of Washington Medical Center by 5:15am. The surgery will start at 7:30am. The surgery will take somewhere between 6 to 12 hrs. I hope to be out of the ICU somewhere between 2 - 7 days.

I want to thank all the people who have voiced encouragement and those who have prayed for me. There is no way that I can name everyone here but please know that each of you are special to me.

As promised my sister will take over the blog temporarily. Please refrain from contacting her directly as she is taking care of my newborn niece - Adaya.

I'll catch everyone on the flip side.

Rock On!!!

I realize that I haven't blogged much since the 4th of July holiday but I'm freakin' busy so get off my tail!!!! At any rate, I'll get you updated reader's digest version of my latest experiences.

Last Thursday - When I came home from work, my mom was at the front door waiting with her bags packed. I guess she wanted to go home really badly. She said she wanted to go see, Adaya, her new granddaughter but I suspect that it was just a red herring to get out from my apartment.

Friday - Chilled throughout the day and went to see the Incredible Hulk. I hate to be overly melodramatic about the comic book based movie but I thought it was entertaining and quite touching. It showed me how lonely it was for Bruce Banner to live with his medical condition and it made me think about my loneliness too. (WiWillie, Shutya Mouth!!!)

Saturday Night - Went out to my friend Joe's house and played "RockBand" on his brother Paul's PS3. I got several dosages of some liquid courage with Joe's bartending concoctions. After some Crown and Coke and some Gin Martini's; I was able to slur and rattle my way through rock lyrics just the way the real singers did it. At the end of each song, I kept on thanking Detroit for supporting the band.

Sunday Night - Drove back to Seattle in an uneventful drive. Came home and tried to catch up on sleep.

Monday - Went to work and then met with a bunch of friends for dinner at Applebee's. They chipped in for the bill in case it was my "last supper". Just kidding (death jokes are more funny to me and more awkward for my readers).

That's a quick synopsis of my weekend. I trust yours was fulfilling and interesting. Remember, I have only a week left before the surgery. Any prayers would be helpful.

Regurgitate - Ewww!

Triscupid Regurgitation. Even the word - regurgitate - sounds unpleasant. It conjures of visions of backed up plumbing for me. However, Tricuspid Regurgitation was the word of the day yesterday during my appointment with an Electrophysiologist (fancy name for heart electrician). He explained that he wants me to have another echocardiogram so that he can measure the amount of Tricuspid Regurgitation. Tricuspid Regurgitation is the amount of blood that rushes back again the Triscupid Valve. My last heart cath test showed that the defibrillator wire might be hampering the Tricuspid Valve to work properly. Depending on his findings, he will provide a series of options for me.

Option A - They will have to pull the infracting lead and attach the lead to a patch which will be sewn onto the outside of the heart but you will still have open heart surgery and your life will still suck.

Option B - They will leave the lead and replace the defibrillator generator but you will still have open heart surgery and your life will still suck.

Option C - They will leave everything thing alone and decide to deal with it another time but you will still have open heart surgery and your life will still suck.

Net Result - Open heart surgery will cause my life to suck no matter what happens with the defibrillator. Let the cutting begin!!!

Clear!!!

Everyone has seen episodes of ER or other medical dramas where a patient flatlines and they bring up a crash cart also called a defibrillator. They yell, "clear" to make sure that there is no collateral damage and then the lifeless body convulses into the air. This is all done by the work of your friend and mine - electricity. An electrical current flows through the paddles of the defibrillator that discharges an electrical kick tantamount to a horse kicking one in the chest.

I have an implanted defibrillator in my chest. I've had it for 8 years and it has not discharged other than one time when it paced me. I'm seeing a cardiac electrophysiologist today who will make a recommendation on what should be done with the defibrillator. One of the leads from my defibrillator is causing my tricuspid valve to leak. Therefore, the electrophysiologist will make a recommendation to my surgeon on what to do.

In addition, my defibrillator has been alarming for some unknown reason. It started many weeks ago when I kept on hearing a noise similar to a British Police Car Siren in my office. I looked around checked all my cell phones and then it disappeared. I thought it was really strange but I quickly forgot about it. I, then, went to Sacramento for a weekend and was at a local Target store and I heard the same siren again. I thought I was going mad and I was running down every aisle trying to find the source of the noise but it suddenly stopped on its own. Finally, I was watching Indiana Jones (of which I wasn't very impressed) in the movie theatre. I heard the siren again. I thought to myself, "what idiot would leave his/her cell phone on during a movie?" But then I realized it was coming from my chest. I was panicked because I didn't know how to turn it off. However, it did turn off by itself as it had done so before. The doctor looked at the defibrillator the next day and turned off the alarm. He didn't know why it was alarming because the defibrillator looked good but he figured that I didn't need to hear the alarm going off day after day.

I'll give everyone an update tomorrow on what happens with the electrophysiologist tomorrow. Hopefully, the cardiac team can find a good method of dealing with my defibrillator.

The following YouTube video is the a combination of my two favorite things; hockey and defibrillators.

Gotta Go Potty

Yesterday, I attended a Korean church called Hyung Jae Church (Community Church of Seattle). My mom wanted to attend the church because its pastor had come out to Vancouver and held a powerful revival meeting.

Honestly, it has been nearly 20 years since I stepped into a Korean church for a service other than a funeral. Hyung Jae Church was surprising because the building was relatively new and it actually seemed like an American church more so than a Korean church. The church was modern with LCD TV's hanging on the walls and a obligatory coffee bar with a high end espresso machine.

I attended the English Ministry congregation which numbered about 250 people but I was told it can get as high as 400 people depending on the events going on for the week. I was impressed by the staff and I felt instantly comfortable. I think the comfort that I felt was because of my years growing up in a Korean church. Some of my best times in my life came from a Korean church especially during church camp.

I remember one time when I was about 15 years old coming back from a camp in a passenger van. A younger kid named Steve Ahn was sitting in the back row with me. He had to go to potty very badly but the bus driver refused to pull over since he thought Steve was just faking it. Unfortunately, Steven's bladder barely could stand the additional pressure so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

To set the scene, the windows in a passenger van do not completely open. The hinge only allows it to be open a few inches. Well, Steven stood on the backseat and maneuvered his body so that his weiner would peak outside the window. He proceeded to give the car behind us on the Trans-Canada Highway a "Golden Shower". However, the turbulence from the vehicle also allowed some of his warm pee to re-enter the cabin of the passenger van. I would become a victim of collateral damage as I felt a warm shower on my face.

Remembering some of the "fond" church memories allows me to realize how rich of a life that I've had. I've had a lot of great friends and wonderful experiences at church. One positive thing that I can glean from this not-so-fun heart surgery experience is that I get to reminisce about the past. I don't think we do that enough because we are always so busy progressing that we forget to appreciate what has happened to us. So, I'm blessed that I get to take a look back and remember old friends and rich experiences.

Goodbye Independence

Last night, I had a bit of a scare. I should tell you first that I am an insulin dependent diabetic. I switched to insulin a month ago after finding out that most oral diabetic meds are bad for heart failure patients. Therefore, I had to switch to sticking myself in the stomach with a needle. Oh lucky me!!!

At any rate, I guess I didn't eat enough dinner and my blood sugar went alarmingly low. I woke up in the middle night and I was completely disoriented. My limbs were tingling and an extreme fatigue fell over my body. I called for my mom who happened to come one night earlier than expected to help me. She saw that I was sweating beyond control and realized what was happening.

She immediately swung into action in a calm assertive way and brought me a host of korean foods called banchan which is a tapas-style way of eating. Koreans typically eat banchan anchored by sticky rice and kimchi (a malodorous fermented pickled cabbage hated by most round-eyed people). The additional sugar in my system took a while to take effect but it eventually rounded me back to my usual and hated cantankerous form.

This event taught me that as much as I want my independence that it might be also harmful to my own health. It's kind of sobering but it might be best that I don't live alone. I need to find a balance between needing help and allowing my surly self to find some breathing room. God help us all.

Reality Check

I filled out my leave of absence paperwork for work for my short term disability. Which means I can hear the Jaw's Movie ominous theme song, "Da Dum, Da Dum, Da Dam." The big day is drawing near and people keep on reminding me about the date just in case I happen to forgot about the surgery. Don't worry, the surgery is in the forefront of my mind.

In addition, my mom is essentially moving in with me on Friday. I love my mom but please pray that we don't strangle each other. I haven't lived with her in 18 years and I look forward to the time together. However, I know she will treat me as if I'm some sort in invalid that is incapable of doing anything. I've fought for my independence and I doubt that I would give it up willingly.

Also, I need to give everyone a reality check on the surgery. I need to clarify that this upcoming surgery is not a cure all for what ails me. All it is doing is temporarily halting the progress of my congestive heart failure. Congestive Heart Failure is not curable by human means. There is no surgical or medical way to shrink the heart and undo the damage. I wanted to set the expectation that I won't be able to do marathons or steeple chase races after the surgery. It just keeps me at the status quo and prevents my disease to progress to the point where I would need a transplant. Again, prayers are always welcome and appreciated.

5 Reasons Why It's Cool To Have CHF

As you know, I've had heart issues all my life and my current heart incarnation is with Congestive Heart Failure or also known as CHF. I wrote a blog post earlier that clearly presents CHF in a bad light with all the hyperbolic talk about drowning in your fluids and all. I want to give you a tour of the contrarian argument for CHF. I shall do this by giving you a list of the 5 best reasons to have CHF.

#5 - Potheads think you are cool because they think you can be a source of medical marijuana for them.

#4 - Women think that you are super sensitive and they think you are in touch with your feelings.

#3 - Friends want to buy and make you dinner.

#2 - At the bar, strangers will buy you drinks and they will toast you while waxing poetic about some nonsense on the meaning of life.

#1 - Chicks dig scars!

My Sister's New Baby - Whatever Her Name Is

Congratulations go out to my sister and brother in law. They had a baby girl at 11:30am today. My brother in law, Simon told me that she came in at a healthy 7.51 lbs.

It kind of reminds of a thing that Pastor Mark Driscoll said today at Mars Hill Church. He said that the simple things make him happy such as holding his wife's hand or snuggling with his five children (subsequently this is my sister's fifth kid too). He was speaking about stewardship and he preached that the biggest idol that is worshipped today is money. However, money can't make you truly happy but it's really the simple things like family that truly makes you happy.

Today, I am happy. I will get to see my niece before I go under the knife. I hope that it isn't the last time I see her or the rest of my family but it does truly remind me that I am BLESSED!!!

P.S. - They still haven't picked out a name for her. Hopefully, they won't be fined for having an inappropriate baby name.

Bubble Boy

I occasionally have these flashbacks and nightmares of my first and second open heart surgeries. I can't tell - when I have the flashbacks and nightmares - which surgery that I am remembering, nevertheless, it's clear that it was a traumatic time in my life.

To put things into context, I was 4 years old during my first surgery and I was 5 years old during my second surgery. The surgery was done at the Vancouver General Hospital at a children's wing which was the predecessor to BC Children's Hospital. The rooms and hallways of VGH were quite stark as compared to the current Children's Hospitals which are littered with toys and animal cartoon murals.

Not only was I young, scared and completely confused on what was happening; I also didn't speak English at the time. This only added to the confusion and fear. My nightmare usually started the same way. I'm on a gurney in the bowels of Vancouver General Hospital. VGH is essentially a series of buildings connected by underground tunnels. The tunnels are dark and the ceilings of the tunnels are cluttered with pipes.

Eventually, we would reach our destination which happens to be the Operating Room. I would be wheeled in and then they carried me to the surgical table. There was a huge cluster of lights that were blinding me. People in gowns and masks were trying to talk to me who sensed that I was scared. Of course, I didn't understand them because I didn't speak English but they did try to use a soothing tone. Finally, a rubber greyish mask descends upon my face with the most distasteful smell in it. I remember trying to fight off the mask by pulling it but the masked people kept on forcefully putting the mask over my face and then....... darkness.

I woke up being so thirsty and so lethargic. I didn't feel like moving. My parents noticed that I'm starting to wake up and they stand over the bed. However, their images are distorted. I try to get my bearings and then I sense that I'm completely enclosed. I realize that my bed is completely surrounded by plastic transparent sheets (kind of like an plastic shower curtain). Only later while watching John Travolta's drama "Boy In The Plastic Bubble" did I realized that I too was bubblized. I now find that being a Bubble Boy is a sense or pride for me. How many people get to have that opportunity to live that way even if it was for a short time. In fact, my heart condition has put in my so many strange predictaments that some of those strange events have become laughable to me now.

As an epilogue to my Bubble Boy situation, I looked into the latest reincarnations of the Bubble Boy. First, the Bubble Boy was mocked in a Seinfeld Episode where George plays Trivial Pursuit and argues with the Bubble Boy regarding a typo on one of the answer cards (Moops vs Moors). Secondly, the youtube movie trailer below is of a 2001 comedy movie called "Bubble Boy" starring a young Jake Gyllenhaal. After seeing the trailer there is no doubt that Gyllenhaal had to draw from his "Bubble Boy" movie experience for his Oscar Winning Movie - Brokeback Mountain.

Grim Reaper

My fellow blogger Wiwille has created his own "bucket list" (a list of things to do before the Grim Reaper pays a visit). To no one's surprise, the entire list is consumed by the topic of booze, however, I was surprised that the words "Scarlett" or "Johansson" wasn't in the blog post.

I actually considered doing a "bucket list" myself on the blog but I thought better of it considering people want to inspired by the blog instead of being depressed by it. However, I do have a suggestion for Wiwillie. He should consider getting drunk with the drunken korean grannies while singing Hava Nagila on the karaoke machine. I know it's random but I would still love to see it before I kick the bucket. I would also say to him that if I drew the short straw and was unfortunate enough to be his boss that I wouldn't care if he got soused at work. As long as he brought some extra booze for me and he didn't get all crunk.

Here is a youtube video of Andre Rieu playing Hava Nagila. Rieu and his hair totally creeps me out.

Yay For Sleep

For those that know me well, they know that I'm a tortured sleeper. I get that from my mom because she is worry wart (euphemism for control freak) like me. I worry about finances, my legacy and about my friends and family. However, I don't worry about my surgery but I do worry how my surgery affects my finances, my legacy, my friends and my family. So I envy those that can fall into sleep so easily.

My ex father-in-law is one such person. First of all, I love the man and I consider him to be one of the greatest human beings on earth. He nursed me back to health during my 3rd open heart surgery. I also helped him during his prostatecomy when he stayed at my place.

At any rate, he has the habit of sleeping anywhere at anytime. I swear he is only awake only 50% of the time at church. In addition, he will sometimes talk to you and he will fall asleep not only in mid-sentence but sometimes in mid-word. How does that happen? I remember him once telling me a story and in the middle of word, he nods off and starts to snore.

He also has the propensity to nod off while driving long distances. He has a trick to keep himself awake. He likes to each sunflower seeds. The motor skills required to open a sunflower seed allows him to focus and concentrate on the road. I have tried this many times and it does work. However, I chronically have gout and everytime I eat sunflower seeds, I get a very painful gout attack. Now, I just pull to rest stop for a quick 20 mins to revive myself.

My lack of sleep is causing me problems to an already tired and weak body. I have a tough time concentrating and getting things done. This reminds me of a story a friend told me about a trip to the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said in a Morpheus (The Matrix) like way, "I have two pills in my hand. "The blue pill will give you the ability to focus and work very efficiently and quickly. The red pill will give you peace and calm. Which pill would you like to take; the blue or the red pill?"

For me, I'd take the blue pill because I would like to have more energy and be able to get things done. I don't need the red pill because I already have peace in Jesus. My question to you is, which pill would you take and do you have peace in your heart?

Congestive Heart Failure & Cankles

It seems that all women have their trouble spots on their body. One of the most famous body trouble spots has birthed a new word - Cankles. Here is the urbandictionary.com definition of cankles:

n. 1) An aesthetically unfortunate physiological condition which leaves its victims with no discernable narrowing of the ankle between the calf and the foot. 2) An ankle which has no discernable narrowing from the calf to the foot. History: The word is derived a combination of the words calf and ankle. Victims of this condition are advised to avoid the following: ankle boots, ankle-strap shoes, anklets, ankle socks, ankle tattoos, high-top shoes, and any other footwear or legwear that might draw attention to the cankle region.
Kelly has a classic case of cankles -- her calves are the same width from knee to foot.

When I go to the cardiologist, he does these three things before he listens to my heart. Number 1 - he will feel my pulse. Number 2 - he will look at my ankles. Number 3 - he will listen to the lungs. Number 2 and 3 are investigative steps to see if I'm retaining water. The reason why he checks for water retention is because it is a sign of Congestive Heart Failure.

In fact, you may not know this but the way people die of Congestive Heart Failure is by drowning. CHF patients drown in their own fluids. However, CHF can take years and months to develop so intervention is possible. That's why I'm having my surgery so that I don't have to have cankles and so that I won't have to drown in my own fluids.

You're probably wondering if I'm retaining water right now. The answer is yes I am. I take a medication called Lasix or Furosemide which is a diuretic. It basically makes you pee over and over again until it dries you out. I have been noticing water retention in my tummy area which has made bending over to show off my tramp stamp very difficult (just kidding mom).

I have to admit that the water retention is discouraging because it means that my Congestive Heart Failure is real and is not some sort of disease that only 3rd world and geriatric patients get. So next time, you happen to be standing beside me at the urinal please don't forget to say, "I'm glad your getting rid of your cankles."

Below is a youtube video that provides a relatively comprehensive explanation of Congestive Heart Failure. Enjoy!

Drunken Korean Grannies & Rat's Hind Parts

I was twenty years old when my mom and I took a trip to the motherland - Korea. Our sojourn through Korea started in Seoul where I got to a see the city's energy first hand. After a few days, my mom thought it would be a good idea for us to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. She suggested that we go to visit some of the more provincial areas like one of the touristy mountains resorts. I was looking forward to it because I was getting tired of looking at concrete and tiny shreds of vegetation throughout the city. I longed for the mountains and greenery.

My mom and I reserved seats on a bus going to our highly anticipated trip to the mountains. When I walked through the aisles, I realized that I was going through gauntlet of Korean grannies. They all looks so nice and matronly. The bus started up and lurched forward toward its destination. Suddenly, the matronly grannies started to pull out bottles of Soju and started to drink like frat boys during their initiation and hazing period. They forced the driver to turn on the karaoke machine and all heck broke loose. The grannies became the most drunken obnoxious people that I have ever encountered. They were stumbling over each other singing traditional Korean songs. This went on for 2 horrendous hours. I asked my mom, "what's wrong with these grannies." She basically told me that they are old and they don't give a rat's hind parts about what you think about them.

My internal reaction can only be described as a confused duality. On one hand, their obnoxiousness was so disruptive that I wanted to blow up the bus. On the other hand, I relished the freedom of not having to give a rat's hind parts about anything.

Recently, I was chatting with a dear friend who was making questionable life choices. I normally just make a few quick jabs at my friend and leave it at that. However, I felt like I just didn't give a rat's hind parts and laid into her. I gave a tongue lashing only an ornery James Carville can give. I realized that since I'm having my heart surgery that I found the freedom of the drunken Korean grannies. I honestly didn't care what she thought of me because I was going to let her know the truth.

So do I regret what i said? Not really, the content was right on target. Do I regret the way I said it? Yes, I wish I was a little more muted in my tone. However, I think it's good to allow yourself the ability to be like a drunk Korean granny once in a while because it is liberating and intoxicating. So, if I come to you with a drunken Korean granny tirade, please know that I don't give a rat's hind parts about what you think about me and I only do that to the people that I really care about and truly love.

Little Man Caden

I must be a narcissist. Who else would make a blog entirely about themselves? Well, I've fallen back to earth and back to selfless sanity and I decided to write about Caden.

This little guy is at Seattle Children's Hospital where he is receiving his fifth round of chemotherapy as I type. Caden and I are kindred spirits because we both share the same birthday (May 11th) and we both received the same gift on our birthday this year (Nintendo DS Lite). In fact, when my sister bought me one, I thought it was the weirdest coincidence ever. At any rate, Little Man Caden has done a lot of fighting and he seems to be a formidable opponent against Leukemia. That being said, Leukemia has given him a couple of gut shots but he still stands proudly like a prize fighter. Not sure why I went through this pugilistic metaphor but I guess I was in a fightin' mood. I would also remiss if I didn't mention that Caden is a gigantic Star Wars fan.

I would like all my blog readers to extend your prayers for Caden as well as for me. If you want more info on Caden, please visit his blog.

The video below is a tribute to Caden and his love for Star Wars. However, I feel that I should WARN you that I felt like this video has robbed me of 5:27 of my life of which I'll never get back again.

Happy Father's Day

Truth be told, my dad wasn't much of a dad. He had a horrible drinking problem that eventually lead to him having liver and stomach cancer. To be honest, I rarely remember him not having a Labatt's Blue or a Bacardi and Coke in his hand at night. He would drink himself to oblivion as long as I can remember. I honestly don't want that to be the main memory that is etched in my mind of him but it is what it is.

That being said, I do have grace for him. God gave him grace and I decided to do the same. However, I needed some information for that to happen. So I got into this deep conversation with my mom about him. I wanted to know why he drank so much. She told me that my older sister Hae Joo died when she was three. He happened to be in Germany at the time of her death. My grandmother had taken Hae Joo and got her cremated and then subsequently burned every picture of her. All remnants of her existence was burned and my dad came back from Germany and was unable to get any closure.

Every Father's Day, I get teary-eyed when I think about my dad and the relationship that could have been. I often watch "Frequency" which I think is one of the best Father's Day movies ever made and I wish I had more time with him. That grace that God extended to my dad; I have done the same. Frankly, it feels good to do that. It's kind of like tying up loose ends before the surgery. I trust everyone had a great Father's Day and I hope that if your father isn't the best dad in the world that at least you will extend him some grace.